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You Can Choose Your Battles.

Why do we argue? Why do we add more negativity to situations that won’t be important in five years? why do we get all worked up to eventually waste our energy? we say things we will eventually regret and we give power to the other person’s words and let them hurt us to try to hurt them back with what we say.

I hate going back and forth with someone, I hate arguing, I hate talking when I’m upset, I think it’s pointless, I think this post is definitely related to my previous article about “hurting people, hurt other people”. Every time I see someone arguing, and really listen to what they have to say, I realize that a lot of the things they’re saying, has no purpose other than the fact that the person wants to hurt them, shame them in front of other people and, most importantly, they want to not only feel more superior, but also they don’t want to feel and/or look bad in front of other people.

Seriously, so what if they not wearing brand outfits, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re broke. So what if you don’t live in a mansion? You’re circumstances are completely different from the other person’s, and it REALLY DOES NOT MEAN YOU’RE NOT WORTHY. Social media is really good at making you feel like you’re not good enough, pretty enough, and worthy enough of love, it’s insane!

I know I’m only twenty-two, and I should be into what “millennial” are into, but frankly, I’m not, I don’t find snap-chat cool, I don’t find any type of social media to be cool. I’m a struggling actress in student debt, who still lives in my mommy’s house. When I was seventeen, I thought I’d be successful by now, but I’m not, I’m STILL dreaming I will be successful, after choosing to be an actress at sixteen. I don’t have a lot of friends and I don’t have a lot of money either, but I still think I am wonderful, I have faith I will make it and I certainly believe I am worthy of love, I don’t believe there is anything wrong with what I’m going through; you might think you, and that’s fine by me, it’s just your opinion and that’s that; I choose to not give it power.

And with this, I will say that arguing isn’t cool either, It’s not only a waste of my energy, it’s also a waste of my time and not good for my mental health. We both know that eventually, it wont matter and, if we know the person very well and like the person, that specific argument will be put aside and we will go back to being good friends. So, again, going back to my question, why do we argue? It’s really incredibly ridiculous.

When I find myself in situations where I am about to argue with someone (which is rarely), or I disagree on a point of view (which happens often), I try to not only really listen to what this person is saying, but I try to separate myself emotionally. I am very aware that people don’t really think the way I do, a lot of us feel very strongly about our own opinions and want people to think like us, but unfortunately for you, it doesn’t really work that way; and sometimes we feel attacked and victimize ourselves (I never want to fall into this trap).

Anyway, the point I have been trying to make with my earlier paragraph is that, sometimes, you just have to let the other person have their way. People don’t often listen and don’t take into consideration of the fact that everyone is unique in their own way; it would be wonderful to always have our way, trust me, I am with you on this one, but we have to learn how to be more mindful and just choose to say, “Okay, cool, since you wont really listen to me, to make you happy, I agree with whatever you say, anything you say: you’re absolutely right.” Period.

And, luckily we have our own brains and opinions privately and those, we can keep to ourselves. I always do this and it’s avoided me sooooo much frustration, and stress and those are things I’m trying to avoid, and luckily we actually can!!!!!

Do you understand the point I am trying to tell you? I really hope so. People will always have their reasons to justify their opinions, to push you into their belief systems, even cheaters have their reasons and even though it’s wrong to the person they cheated on, they will always try to make you believe that what they did has a justifiable reason. So why not just, instead of getting all riled up and crazy, even if you have a good reason (see what I did there?) try to just separate from the situation, and let them have their way? You don’t necessarily have to change your point of view, you’re just making it clear, within yourself, that the argument is not worth it, and you wont waste your energy in negativity.

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xoxo,

S.

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