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Love Letter to Myself

IMG_4271Dear Shirly,

Right now, you listen to a lot of Elvis Presley, you’re extremely curious about people, and you’re very sensitive, you want to be kinder but people are used to rudeness so they will be rude to everyone else because you know they’re rejected and neglected. You can’t force someone out of their habit, but you think you’re awesome and you think your life is okay, but not yet where you want it to be, and you’re still living at home. You know you’re stronger than who you were three years ago and you feel like you’ve come closer to who you are but you believe the best is yet to come. You are alone a lot and wish you had more genuine friends, instead of meeting superficial people. You find yourself reading a lot of good motivational books, and you enjoy writing a lot now; you would love to try to make blogging your side gig while working towards succeeding as an actress. Also, You know you’re an artist, you’re aware you were chosen to be an artist, you’ve come at peace with the idea that you’ll always be an artist, and no matter where life takes you, that will be a title that will define a part of who you are and who you’ve become.

It’s 2018, you’re soon to turn twenty-three and your life is not where you expected it would be when you were 16. Right now, you are a bit more confused about life, and sometimes you feel like you’re going through the motions of it, sometimes you feel more alone than ever, and sometimes you feel like you are exactly where you need to be; while completely understanding that sometimes, things happen for a reason. I know you feel like your life is an unsolvable maze right now, that it feels like you don’t know where you’re going, that you don’t know what you want anymore, you feel all over the place and sometimes you just want to hide under your bed sheets and never come out from under ever again.

Right now, I am pretending to be my thirty-year-old self, successful in the career I’ve always wanted to do, happily married (or on my way there) with the most wonderful man in the world, and in the beach house I’ve always wanted to live in. Writing this letter as a way to comfort you, to let you in on a little secret: No matter what happens, everything will be okay; to tell you to let loose and go with the flow, to trust in yourself and not worry about your future so much, because I know how anxious you can get. and to let go of the past; because even though it still seems a bit hard and confusing, the wonderful difficulty you went through has brought you a wonderful gift, and that is to nurture yourself, to love yourself as much as you possibly can and to let go of anyone who isn’t willing to give you the same respect you give yourself.

Having been feeling like an outcast most of your early life and returning to feeling isolated a year from today, February 2018, has brought you closer to who you are meant to be, and that is a strong independent woman, what you went through has taught you to be wary of people who give you a negative feeling, has made your acting career go on a higher level and has brought to you a new love, writing.

I know right now, it seems like you can’t see you have your life figured out and it feels like you’re going in different directions,  because I know you want to surpass society’s expectations of success, but I want you to realize that your success? isn’t the same success as someone else’s and that everyone’s meaning of success is different. I want you to relax with the idea that the only success that matters in life, is your own type of success, and to not worry about anybody’s happiness but your own, because no matter what you do, there will always be someone that won’t like it.

Having found another love, writing to motivate and inspire people to becoming who they truly are, makes it seem like the loss you endured recently, turned into a gift, and on top of that, you’re doing really good in acting, in less than a year of graduating school, you booked your first TV role, you have two part-time jobs, a manager who is very helpful towards your career, and the love you have found for yourself. I know at 22, you feel very insecure about your possibilities and what you can do, but I want you to keep going.

Even through the dark days, when you’re in your bed at night, crying because someone hurt your feelings (because I know you’ll always be as sensitive and delicate as a rose). I want you go move forward, even when you don’t book that audition, or even if you get fired, or a guy broke your heart because you’re an ambitious little soul (they just brought you closer to your life mate and to who you truly were.) I want you to write, pray to our universe, meditate, eat a lot of good food, keep going, and most importantly: LOVE,  love yourself, love your life, and the people good to you, love your work, do anything possible to follow Love’s path to you happiness, because without it, there is nothing else.

I love you,

Me ♥️

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