My current problem: Anxiety
I have a confession to make: I have realized my anxiety has been stopping me from fully giving myself to acting.
I think about acting and how much I love it, how much I’ve given myself to this journey, my process, how much I’ve grown, how strongly I feel about my purpose to this craft, how, many, many times, I have felt like I am meant to do this for the rest of my life and how much fun and alive and excited I feel when I perform and immerse myself in the craft.
BUT (and I am going to really emphasize this word)
When I think about fully immersing, I get incredibly scared, so scared I can’t breathe, so scared I feel my life depended on this decision (which it really does.) and I am frustrated that I give power to this, I am frustrated that I let this fear stop me, I let it get the best of me and I let it stop me from my full potential.
Right now, I really don’t know how to control it, how to view this as a challenge that I’d be more than willing to take. Right now, I see this as something that will prevent me from fully living my life, this scares me so much I feel a pressure build up in my chest, my heart beats faster and it literally fills like I will die.
When I feel this way, thoughts like, “how will I support myself? what if I don’t make it? I really want to be successful; so many people have busted their asses and still don’t make it, will I be one of them” it’s certainly a lot of “what if’s” that really drive me insane and are taking the best of me. When it comes to something else, I am really good at handling anything, I think, but I am having a really difficult time understand why this challenge is getting the best of me.
I understand I am not my thoughts, and I understand that there is also a chance of me actually succeeding if I do go full out and really focus on acting. I am certain I will be happier doing things I love. I am afraid of rejection from people I want to be around, though I know a lot of people wont accept the fact that I want to be an artist, as I’ve experienced before, and I have accepted that I will deal with rejection forever and I have and it’s seriously, no a big deal.
which is fine.
My question is, why are my thoughts going straight to the negative outcome? why can’t I fully give in? Why are these particular thoughts much stronger than my other negative thoughts? It’s my current dilemma.
xx,
S.
via Daily Prompt: Complication
Uncategorized acting Anxiety Blog blogging complication Fear Inspiration life living love Motivation stress
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I’m an actress in pursuit of happiness and finding my truth. Through my writing I am able to release my thinking without being judged or having the need to impress people in this crazy world we’re living in. I hope that through my experience I inspire you to find your truth and version of happiness.
I think you’re amazing.
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Really?! I’ve just admitted my biggest struggle, i don’t know if i see that as something that’s amazing.
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I’m sorry. I’ve read almost all your blog and it’s beautiful. That’s why I said that. Sorry.
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Haha. I’m sorry if you took this the wrong way, i mean to say this as a good thing, don’t apologize honey! You’re very kind xxx
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But, honestly, it’s really inspiring how you write and just blog about anything you want. ❤️
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I’m surprised 😮
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Okay.
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“What if I don’t make it?” I myself am haunted by the question every single day. We don’t know so we’re filled with terrible wonder. I’m right there with you. I do find it helpful to know I’m not the only one struggling with uncertainty and rejection. As alone as I may feel, I’m not nearly as alone as I think. It’s a small comfort, but given how many struggling artists are out there too, I feel it enormously.
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Thank you for this, its very comforting xx
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I am sure you feel better after posting this. I can see a brave person here
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