When I was in school, studying acting; one of the main things that I really learned was that behavior mattered more than what you said; and that your tone of voice was a lot more important in what you meant than what you actually said. This valuable gift helps me figure out people quicker and it’s not only helped me better my acting but it’s also helped me decide who I want to have in my life, or not; it’s certainly helped pick out the fake types.
I tried dating….it kinda sucks.
it’s a bunch of men that don’t really want to get to know you. they just really want to have sex with you until they get back with their ex… sometimes.
Anyway, I started talking to this guy who said little to nothing. He was the definition of Mr. Mystery man, he found my questions to be a bit annoying, he answered me with another question, mostly, “Why?” and he barely spoke…about anything. One thing in particular that I noticed was that he often said he would do certain things, but didn’t really do them.
He wasn’t a doer, he was more of a “I’ll say I’ll do it, but I really won’t” just to shut me up and string me along for god-knows-what because I didn’t see this conversation moving any further than, me: “wyd?” Him: “nothing. You?”
I clearly saw his disinterest and I pointed it out and made it clear that it’s totally cool if we became friends, something he saw as insecurity; though I highly doubt I was insecure: there wasn’t anything to be insecure about; I was simply trying to get to know someone who obviously showed no interest in opening up…. about anything.
I told him from experience, I know when a man wants a woman, they hunt her and try to get her, no matter what; if they really wanted her. He asked, “what do men do?” clearly pointing out his lack of dating experience. I explained to him what I’ve experienced with men and he said, “I will do the same, so shh.”
yet, nothing happened.
I kept having the impulse to let him go because clearly he didn’t show me any interest and wasn’t willing to open up. i had headaches about this, from waking up to going to bed, I really thought about his disinterested and how much I did not want to talk to him anymore. I was stressing myself out for absolutely nothing and eventually, I did let him know he was just not what I was looking for.
I was so relieved afterwards, the tension I had since talking to him was gone, I felt lighter and happier. I realized I was doing harm to myself for continuing this conversation and the universe kept telling me to let go of what’s harming me.
I’m an actress in pursuit of happiness and finding my truth. Through my writing I am able to release my thinking without being judged or having the need to impress people in this crazy world we’re living in. I hope that through my experience I inspire you to find your truth and version of happiness.