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Thoughts on being a woman in the city.

I love being a woman, we get to be so many more things than men simply because we’re women and I am happy about that, thought I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with men, love you guys too!
Like getting pregnant for example, I’ve imagined being the mother of a baby, I tear up when I imagine the doctor letting me hold my future child for the first time, and I imagine myself pregnant with a huge, hard and warm belly with a little person inside it.
There is no doubt in my mind about this: I am meant to be a mother one day, with a man or not, I will be a mother.
When I am sure I can manage to care for more than one person of course, right now: zero (yep, not even myself.)
I love how vulnerable and strong we can be at the same time, how we’re allowed to cry and get crazy for once a month and I don’t know. I love being a girl.
it could also not be so amazing, we get cat called and can get assaulted, we can literally get beat up to death by a single man while they will probably need two or more for a real beat (depending on the man).
our reputation gets a lot lower by the number of men we’re sleeping with while theirs gets higher (something that I’ll never understand) and once a month we get banana crazy and our hormones are everywhere, which sucks.
one thing I’ve hated about being a woman in New York is the cat-calling, I’m not demanding for the man to stop, after all, 1st amendment; I’m not answering at all, but I don’t get the purpose of screaming your guts out for my body, it’s pointless, I used to have seen girls thank them like its the fucking best compliment they’ve ever heard and I’ve felt irritated about it, ugh.
I was walking home one day around my not-so-safe neighborhood, it was daylight, and a man grabbed my arm to tell me I’m beautiful. He didn’t understand why I jumped in fear…seriously? Another time, again daylight (I think it was noon) and I was walking home from working out, meaning I had my tights on; a man was following me! He might have been following me for a while but I didn’t realized it until I stopped to cross the street, I noticed a shadow pretty close to me, I slowed, he slowed, he never went in front of me, he was always behind, then I pretended to tie my shoe and it caught him off guard, he pretended to be looking for something but obviously was trying too hard when I noticed him move his head from side to side really fast (and extremely slow pace). I was listening to music at the time and after I realized this I stopped my music to listen to anything (oh, by the way, there were people around), I heard construction workers cat calling me and then I clearly heard him say, “what?” And they answered, “to her,” but I kept walking, he kept following me, mumbling with his words, complimenting me. I dodged him by walking into the bodega near by (thank you bodega), he didn’t come in and I didn’t see him after that, thank the lord 🙏🏼
Another time, it was night and I was walking home from work, it wasn’t late from what I remember though I can’t say the time for sure, I was speed walking my ass home when a man in a black car stopped and moved at my pace, his window was lowered and, to be honest with you, I didn’t hear a word he said, I was terrified, I thought he was going to stop, get off and force me into his car and murder me like Ted Bundy after he raped me.
Luckily, He ended up driving away.
Nothing’s ever happened to me, and I thank the universe everyday for that.
This is what I love about being a woman, even where there are bad men, there are also good men, they open doors for me, without the expectation of anything but a thank you in return, which I love. Sometimes, when I ride on the train, they get up and offer me their seat, and Im not even pregnant! I can smell all rosy and pink. I love taking a nice bath with bath-bombs ( never met a man that takes a bath) and I get to wear pretty dresses and put mascara on my face.
Now, the chivalry is coming from total strangers, I’m pretty sure if I had a man, he would treat me great all the time and protect me (I’d make sure). Though it seems there’s more bad coming from them than good.
I wonder what is it about these sex deprived men that makes me them so desperate to behave in such a way? What makes them think so low of women that it gives them permission to treat us as such? I’ll never understand.
I think it’s pretty dangerous being a woman in NYC, but I think it could be just as dangerous anywhere else, though being a woman has its many benefits, it also has things that make you say, “ugh, why,”
xoxo,
S.
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4 thoughts on “Thoughts on being a woman in the city.

  1. A great post!! Stuck the right chords and really stipulates a good question if all men are same and what is it really that drive them towards such atrocious acts.. even I being a man, can’t understand it.. my upbringings have always to give respect to women. And I believe all parents give the same advice.. then why as kids do we drift away from their preachings and turn out to be this menace.. don’t know.. Stay safe, stay happy.. things will change.. society will change.. I have faith!

    Liked by 1 person

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