I spend a lot of my time alone, most of my days without talking to people, and I’m totally okay with that. You see, where I live, I haven’t met people that will bring me up or will make me be a better person. Growing up in the Bronx, I’m considered to be “boring”, not because I actually am boring( I don’t believe that), but because I’m not interested in what THEY believe is cool.
I have started to realize that the people that are meant to be in your life are supposed to make you better than you already are, stronger and wiser, and whoever doesn’t meet that criteria in my life, isn’t going to be part of my life.
I grew up feeling unappreciated by the “friends” I thought I had, it started to become painful to be around them. I had to pretend I enjoyed being around them, drinking alcohol that didn’t even taste good and smoking weed, numbing myself to feel like I actually belonged.
I saw that those people I was hanging around with, weren’t making me any better, instead they were actually making me feel worse, worse about myself, my life, and my sense of belonging, till the point where I truly started hating myself.
When I was about 17, I decided to end all of my relationships with them, I cut myself off from every social media outlet I had, I went off the grid and decided to not hang around them anymore, it was very difficult at first, but now that I think about it? It felt a lot better than being around them.
At the time, I didn’t know what made me get rid of them, maybe deep down I knew that my absence wasn’t going to make a difference in their life.
It sure made a huge impact in my life.
After a difficult time in my life, I decided to follow my passion of becoming an actress, and although I still felt like I didn’t fit in, I met people that have taught me many great life lessons and have for sure made me a better person.
Someone somewhere once said, “people come into your life as a lesson for you to learn”, or something along those lines, honestly, I’m not exactly sure, but I truly believe in it.
I feel like your friends are supposed to make you a better human being and guide you in your journey, especially if they’re truly meant to be in your life; they pick you up when you’re down, make you laugh, make you cry and accept you fully for who you are and tell you the truth, even if you don’t agree with their truth, both of you are meant to agree TO disagree, because that’s what a friendship is all about, and they protect you when you’re blinded, they’re like the third eye you’ve always needed but never physically had.
None of us are meant to be exactly as the other person, life would be dull and boring, and only the ignorant person would disagree. If you feel like someone is forcing you to become someone you’re not, just for their approval, you have to step back and realize that this isn’t how your life is supposed to be, you’re supposed to be appreciated for who you are, not ashamed.
Be careful who your friends are, if you feel like their not benefiting your life, don’t be afraid to cut off contact with them, you might be don’t yourself a favor.
I’m an actress in pursuit of happiness and finding my truth. Through my writing I am able to release my thinking without being judged or having the need to impress people in this crazy world we’re living in. I hope that through my experience I inspire you to find your truth and version of happiness.