“Untitled” Blog Post.

I don’t even know what to call this post, I Just know that I want to write it.
I was watching “The Good Doctor” (good show) on ABC earlier today and the main character, who has autism, went through something where he was being judged; one of the doctors mistreated him and called him weird, but later that same day, after he had saved a life, she was nice to him and even wanted to be his friend.
After she failed attempting to be his friend, he asked her, “why were to rude to me earlier and now your nicer and even want to be my friend? What’s different? When were/are you lying? now or earlier?”
This question really fascinated me!
Growing up always wanting to fit in and be liked by everyone, I always felt like I needed to put an act for them to like me, I always felt like I needed to do something they thought was cool so that they would think I was just as cool as them.
Where does this come from? I’m sure it’s always been passed down, the younger kids always wanting to fit in, not feeling good enough when they’re not part of the group.
Do kids that come from a loving family; that were told that they were or are good enough just the way they are, do they still try to fit in really bad? Or do they just think that they’re good enough by themselves and people will (eventually) be their friends?
This is so interesting! So many questions!
I would have to side with the main character though, why is it that people have to act a certain way for other people to like them? What is it about each other’s difference’s that can’t be allowed (or accepted) to start a friendship? I never felt like myself when I wanted someone’s approval…hm, now that I think about it, it felt fucking shitty! And I hated it! Maybe that’s why I suffered depression….hmmm, Wow! 
It really bothers me now when I see people disliking someone else’s difference. 
And I get it, we want to find something we can relate to and find comfort in our similarities, I get it, whatever! But wouldn’t things be a lot more interesting if you took an interest in someone that wasn’t a lot like you? I mean, you already know what you know and are surrounded by that, why not experiencing something new? New things, new people, new experiences?
I hate people that want to stay in their own little bubble.
Pop that shit man! I don’t think life’s about that!
You have social media, and on social media, you post your best pictures, as if you have “the best life.” At least, that’s what a lot of people do.
But when things get interesting and there’s an opportunity to grow, people back down and don’t want to, they’re too lazy, “it’s mad work.” 
Ugh! You’re so fucking lame!
I think it’s a lot more work to get out of a life you put and left yourself in there (stuck) than to try to expand a lot more by new opportunities and people, I think new possibilities start to come.
“Sometimes, when thing’s are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”


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I’m an actress in pursuit of happiness and finding my truth. Through my writing I am able to release my thinking without being judged or having the need to impress people in this crazy world we’re living in. I hope that through my experience I inspire you to find your truth and version of happiness.

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