Let’s get academic here and look for the definition of Criticize, this one really spoke to me more than the rest:To talk about the problems or faults of someone or something.
First and foremost, I am not going to pretend like I haven’t been one of those people that have never done this deed, honestly, I did it all of the time. For everything I’d critique not only something but someone, I found faults in everything so that I wouldn’t be like it, or so that I wouldn’t have to do it or put myself through whatever that was.
But now that I think about it, I was never happy when I did that, it always felt like I was missing out on something. For example, growing up, I hated grapes, never liked them, ever, I thought they were gross…..BUT IVE NEVER TRIED THEM (how ridiculous)
Last year, my friend made me try them for the first time, she convinced me, I don’t know how, she told me they were great, and since I am in the process of trying new things, I decided to give it a chance, holy hell they’re amazing! I love grapes!
Now if I just kept talking about how bad they were (Again….without trying it) I would have been missing out on how amazing grapes really are.
Why is it that people criticize so much? People are constantly judging someone, or something, people are always so quick in finding something negative to say, not only that, but they’re surrounded by family and friends that do this negative habit so much that they end up not taking advantage of fun opportunities because of their fear of being judged.
Have you ever stopped and wondered what would happen if you stopped? Not only criticizing but ending relationships that cause you to do things you don’t want to do? I talked about this in one of my first posts, I believe it is my very first post. So you see I feel strongly about this.
I am constantly working towards surrounding myself with people that love how different I am. Even if I have one friend, that one friend makes me extremely happy, because I am allowed to be who I am, and that makes me not want to judge anybody. If I am allowed to be 100% who I am, without any judgement, why can’t I allow someone else the same opportunity?
I read somewhere that when you criticize someone else, you’re actually causing a lot more harm than you can imagine. You’re not only hurting that person’s self- esteem and perceptions towards people (if that even makes sense) but you’re also hurting yourself, you’re closing yourself off, you also start believing that people think bad about everyone and THAT is causing you not to experience new things, because you’re afraid of what someone else might say about you.
I was doing a little bit of research, and this is what I found from the Huff-post:
“When you make derogatory statements about others, the centered people in the room know exactly who you’re really talking about… yourself! When an individual lashes out at another, it’s a defense mechanism. Their behavior is a product of feelings and issues they are trying to cope with that have nothing to do with the other person. It is behavior that makes them appear “less than” the ego is at work here, and whenever the ego takes over you can rest assured it is not going to be a positive experience. The ego only looks out for number one. It is self-centered, not centered-in-self. Big difference! Respect yourself by respecting others. Honor and love yourself and you will never dishonor or hate another.”
I couldn’t agree more, when I did it, I always felt like there was something wrong with me, I was insecure, and unhappy about myself. I never want to go back, and I never want to have someone experience what I experienced. I never want to surround myself with people that criticize.
It isn’t even fun! It’s not healthy, it’s just lame and pathetic.
Nobody is perfect, everyone has something they’re going through. What makes you any better than they are? Before you start looking into someone else’s flaws, pause for a second and realize what you’re really doing. Is it something in you that you see in that other person?
Surround yourself with love and happiness. Embrace your flaws and your friends, it will absolutely reduce the mean person inside your brain. Not only will it free you from critiquing yourself but others as well.
“People who can, do. People who can’t, criticize.”